Risky Business Rough Draft

Raves, kids love em' and parents hate em'. What is the solution? At raves in this era, drugs, alcohol, and even sex is found common. With no adult supervision, teens tend to just "let loose". They become easy prey for drug dealers, pedophiles, and simply peer pressure. The solution is to have random drug searches and thorough screenings before entering the clubs.

Does the Police Department have enough manpower for such events? The answer is no, however if private parties want to throw these types of functions, then they should be responsible for providing adequate security to ensure a safe environment. Its as simple as a job at Mcdonalds, and the wages could possibly be more. But, what else could help with safety at raves?

Some things that make raves even more dangerous is the environment that they are at. A lot of injuries and death are related to heat strokes. Thus, only going to raves with the proper place to cool down is key. Outdoor raves are the best because its in an open air environment. Also, having good hydration is a big factor. Drinking water every so often, and keeping hydrated can determine your fate.

So what is the solution? How can parents and teens feel the same way toward raves? How can you feel safe in such an environment? The answer is simple; with security, searches, and just plain common sense, raves can become a fun but also safe place.

-Kaimi Carreira

Revised Thesis and "Stuff"

Thesis: "The solution to making raves a safer place, is by conducting random drug searches during the rave".

Con: By having drug searches it will take away from the fun at the rave. Also without the drugs some may feel they can't cope with stress.

Pro: Drug searches will actually create a safer environment because everyone will have a clear head and the will be able to make decisions easier.

Pro: Having the searches, people will not do drugs which prevents them from being caught for doing something illegal!

-Kaimi Carreira

College Essay Draft

Having to go to Moanalua High School, an hour and a half journey from the place I live. A place where people have different mindsets and mentalities. A place that is always on a fast pace and is always "going". A place where I don't fit in because of my personality and the way I was raised. This was all part of a significant event that changed my life.

Growing up in Kaneohe, I was raised being taught to try make friends and be outgoing. In Kaneohe, people have the reputation of being very confident, almost cocky. Naturally, being in that environment, I also began to gain a lot of confidence. To me and everyone else around me this was normal.

However, my mom didn't feel that going to school in Kaneohe was in my best interests. And despite much protesting, my mom put in a G.E. for Moanalua. When I was excepted, I was actually kind of excited to go to a new school, because I had always been good at making friends. However I was nervous because I had never really associated with "town" people due to the fact of living in Kahalu'u which is considered "country".

After awhile I began to hate moanalua because of the way people acted-it wasn't what I was used to. Also, people got irritated at things that in the windward side, people would find normal. However, I adapted to the environment, and began to fit in better with different people. The whole experience taught me how to adapt to unfamiliar places and overall, it made me a better person.

Journal 9

I have recently read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and it really showed the coming of age of a boy named charlie. In the beginning of the story, the author portrays Charlie as a loner and a good boy that always gets straight A's. However throughout the story, Charlie begins making friends and is influenced greatly by them. He begins to smoke cigarettes, weed, and even gets a girlfriend. Towards the end of the book, It gets noticeable that charlie has matured and was a prime example of a coming of age story.

Journal 8

The colleges that I'm thinking of attending is UH Manoa, University of North Carolina, University of Southern California, or if I have no other choice Community College.

UH Manoa
University of North Carolina
University of Southern California
Maui Community College

-Kaimi Carreira

Coming of Age Essay

Its a great day. The sky is blue, sun is shining, and I just finished a refreshing swim in my pool. Feeling like nothing could go wrong in the world, I hear the phone ring. I'm drying off and I hear my mom answer the phone. I see her walk into the hallway as her content face suddenly turns frantic, and she drops to the ground with tears streaming down her face. My Uncle Andre has passed and the whole family is devasted. He is only 36.

My whole family is shocked and wondering what happened to this 6'3" 260 pound avid fisherman? I walk around in a daze wondering "How could this happen? He appeared invincible, I thought he would be here forever...". My mom is a mess, being that she grew up with my Uncle and they always shared their problems between each other. I feel like I should try to hold back my tears and act like a rock. However my emotions get the better of me and I begin to cry like I've never cried before.

After letting it all out, I begin to comfort my mom being that its such a hard time for her. Within a week, we learned that he died in his sleep and the funeral will happen soon. The next few weeks was not the same at all. It was such a somber enviornment and no one was able to accept that such a young man was gone. After things had settled down a bit, we got ready for the funeral and took the flight to Kona.

The funeral was held at honokahau harbor. This was decided because of my Uncles love for the ocean. When at the funeral there were speeches from family members and peaceful hawaiian music being played. My Uncle Franz played a special song at the funeral which was Fire and Rain by James Taylor. My Uncle Franz said that everytime we had a party my Uncle Andre would say: "Eh Uncle, play Fire and Rain!". He would keep bugging him until he finally gave in and played it. Throughout the song, tears were flowing and we barely got to the end. It seemed like the day went by like a blur.

After a few months the sadness faded, but no one forgot the happy-go-lucky man who always lit up the room with his laugh. After the experience I realized that we should never take anyone or anything for granted because one day it might not be there. Through this experience I have definitely grown stronger and I appreciate everything and everyone in my life.

Writing Expierences and Goals

Over the past year, my writing abilites have improved drastically. When I write, I now have confidence and voice to say exactly whats on my mind. The six traits have made a big impact on my writing due to the fact that every time I write an essay or some sort of writing piece, I also refer back to the six traights.

My writing goals this year would be to improve on certain traits that I feel needs to be worked on. I also would like to strive towards getting a 100% on an essay or important project. I plan on reaching these goals by constantly trying to improve my writing and to always keep up with assignments so I have an easier time doing them.