This I Believe Draft
"Fall down seven times, get up eight." That is how I live my live-I never give up. In my life, and just as anyone else's, I encounter problems and challenges throughout. However, it's not about the problem I face, but instead how I endure it, how I conquer it. Many challenges have arisen in my life, but only a few have changed it.
Throughout my life, I've moved constantly. Always being the new guy, always making new friends, and more importantly losing old ones. Overall, I've been at 7 different schools, always trying to fit in, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not. The way I overcame this challenge was by realizing that I shouldn't be trying to impress others, but instead try to impress myself. At times I was laughed at, ignored, ridiculed, but in the end the only opinion that actually mattered was my own. I conquered the challenge so despite moving to a new school(Moanalua) I was able to be myself and never give up doing that.
Also, from a very young age the game of basketball was instilled in me. Naturally, when I first started I wasn't the best to say the least. I always envied the older and better players, and whenever I made a mistake I always felt like just putting down the ball and sit on the side. However, throughout the years I encountered and overcame the different challenges that came with the game. I remember the day that I perfected dribbling through my legs. The feeling of accomplishing and not quitting felt so good that it enabled me to want more. With the practice, dedication, and the will to never give up, I conquered my challenge.
So I don't ever let my challenges weigh me down. I find my way around it, get past it, and never look back. So if I so happen to fall down seven times, I'll always find a way to get up eight.
Dang Kaimi that was a really good essay. Never knew you could be so deep. Anyways I really like the way you started your essay with the how you live your life that was a really good quote. Your essay shows alot of connection to what you do like basketball. As a suggestion maybe offer more examples of how you show preserverance. Other then that your clincher sentence really was a great way to end your I Believe essay
ReplyDeleteGood essay kaimi im really impressed you have a very good way with the way your writing flows together. also good use of words
ReplyDeletehow ever things to improve could be using mabe a few more life experiences like you basketball one. more detail about the things you overcame and picked yourself up the last time
over all good essay keep it up
Austin
Hi Kaimi,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your teammates that you've picked a great quote and philosophy with which to live your life.
I also agree that you could make your essay more specific. Instead of the general phrase that you can "be yourself," give specifics incidents in which you had to face obstacles as you kept true to your personality and got up that eighth time.
I would add the basketball part if you can tie it in to specific incidents...do you play on a school or community team? Was there a "personal best" goal that you'd set for yourself to attain? Again, specifics are what give the "I beleive" essay impact.
Good luck...let me know if you have any questions.
mrs s